Living a double life

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It’s true – I’m living a double life!

My world-class love affair means that all up I have spent five months of the past 12 in the USA, the rest back here in Australia.

I now have two addresses, two mobile phones and associated numbers, two plugs for my laptop, a wardrobe split in half, some treasures there, some here, friends new and old on both sides of the Pacific and a heart that lies in whatever location my man is in at the time. I’m straddling two countries – lucky I have long legs and flexible yogi hips!

With the visa application process begun on New Year’s Eve 2012 and no word since, the waiting game is becoming harder and harder for us to bear. Limbo-land is an unsettling place to be.

When we do hear, it will simply be the first of a few more stages, including more waiting while one department passes on papers to another within the USA, which then passes papers on to the US Consulate in Australia, fillings out of more forms justifying who I am (and who I was, my parents were and every place I’ve lived and worked), police checks in the three different countries I’ve lived in up to now to verify I’m not a criminal or terrorist in any of them, medical exam and immunizations for a long list of diseases including a couple I thought were irradicated and one I’ve never heard of!

Then finally the interview to verify I’m for real and our relationship is bona fide. For the occasion I have compiled an album full of photographs showing us together over the past 18 months in various locations, that on second glance aren’t very reassuring – nothing Andie McDowell, Gerard Depardieu and Photoshop couldn’t have managed!

I’m doing all this for love. Because I simply need to be where my man is, and he with me and we happened to be born in different countries.

The toughest thing is that we simply don’t know when its all going to come together and I can finally be there with him full-time, so its difficult to make any concrete plans or commit to things with clients, friends, family and even each other.

In the meantime, we need to make money. It’s expensive flying back and forth and spending weeks and months not earning while I share time with my love. While we are all full up with love and abundance, our bank balances are not.

And yet, by necessity, this scenario is gradually creating the lifestyle I have actually always wanted. Ever since my first inklings towards a photography career in my late teens, I have wanted to work for myself, do my own things. That’s not a typo, things plural. I don’t want to be constrained to one job, one occupation, any kind of workplace full-time 9-5, glued to one spot, one city, one country even.

Well, be careful what you wish for!

Because I don’t want to commit to any work for too long so I can leap on a plane as soon as I’m able, I’m having to be creative and become a true freelancer. Creating workshops in Yogalates I’ve been thinking about forever but haven’t had the impetus to get going, offering myself up for copywriting work in different locations in Australia so I can live a mobile life, when previously I haven’t had the courage to call myself a writer. What’s that saying – necessity is the mother of invention? I seem to be reinventing myself.

I’ve tended to make myself wrong for wanting such a life. Why can’t I just want a normal stable life? Because I’m just not a normal stable gal??

As another saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Simple as that. I was born with a free, creative, wandering spirit, a need to do things to the beat of my own drum, to explore what I’m curious about and to live an adventurous life. I don’t think that’s a better or worse way to live a life, its simply the one that suits me.

Thankfully I have met a man who not only gets that about me, but both mirrors and celebrates it. He’s the one for me! So for the record, my desire to mix and match doesn’t run to men. I’m perfectly happy with just the one of those.

And if I need to live a double life for while to keep him, its worth it.

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