Long-distance love

Okay so I know we’re not the first couple in the world to have a long-distance relationship. I’m picking its happening more and more often with the ease of travel and/or communication channels these days. Certainly because my radar is up for it, I’m hearing many stories of people who are doing or have done similar. But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.

I always thought that long-distance love was something that you might CHOOSE, or not. And if you were in any way sane you probably wouldn’t choose it. But as per my last post (the great adventure called love) I now know that choice has very little to do with this. We met, we connected, we fell in love, we love each other, we want to be together, we happen to come from opposite ‘ends’ of the earth.

16383 kilometres or 10181 miles apart to be exact

We’re working on being in the same location, but in the meantime the reality is that there is this big mass of Pacific Ocean plus the entire width of the USA between us.

Physical distance is one thing, but in every other way we are together. Hearts connected, minds, soul. Distance is nothing to energy. I’ve experienced that through reiki healing training where I heard it explained very convincingly from a quantum physics perspective, though I haven’t retained the knowledge, just the knowing. I feel it with us…but I still get cranky as all get-out at the physical separation (see that, I used an American expression!)

We speak every day, mostly 2 or 3 times. Usually with visuals too – Skype is an awesome thing. It also sucks. It cuts out at the most inopportune times. Often-times when we’re in the middle of whispering sweet nothings, when we really need to exchange some important practical information or when one of us decides to do an impromptu strip-tease!

Sometimes it freezes our faces in the most unflattering expressions. Or our voices and movements are totally out of sync. It’s pretty disconcerting when I ask a serious question and his face is laughing or worse, not reacting at all. Or when he says something sexy and I’m screwing up my nose.

The trickiest thing is simply the time difference. When I wake up he’s in mid-afternoon. I’m sleepy and dreamy and he’s either all business or a box of birds. I call him in my lunch break to say goodnight…his turn to be all dreamy and sleepy and I’m all rushed. Then my bedtime is his early morning…sometimes we don’t speak then because I need to sleep before he wakes, or if we do we’re too tired to say much that’s meaningful because neither of us feels much like talking.

The whole thing has made for some jarring scenarios over the past few weeks. I’m writing my resume and preparing for an interview and he’s messaging saying he misses the curves of my body. He’s ringing for a kiss goodnight and I’m saying don’t forget to complete the form. I’m just waking up, he’s planting daffodils in the garden. I’m flashing my cleavage and he’s taking a work call. I’m teary from missing him and he’s in the car picking up his daughter from school. He’s yearning for me and I’m babbling away about the dog at my new workplace.

This is how our relationship is right now. In place of day-to-day physical closeness, we have snatched moments in cyberspace. There is so much to organize and so much going on in our respective lives that we can tend to use all our time up on information exchange.

And then once in a while we have those magic times, when we both have more than 5 or 10 minutes to speak, when Skype is behaving itself, when we’ve run out of logistics to discuss and all we have is each other. We gaze at each other, drink each other in and actually spend time together, like a real date.

The other night he Skyped me while watching The Voice on TV. We loved watching that together while I was there in the USA with him. So he turned his laptop towards the TV so I could watch one of the songs. 10,181 miles apart sitting on the couch together watching our favorite show on TV.

It’s the little things like that keep the connection going. That and impromptu strip-teases!

9 thoughts on “Long-distance love

  1. Box of birds – Never heard that before but i love it! Another great post, very funny with the mismatch events. LOVE the photo..

  2. Love the insight Steff – so can relate to the frustation from inopportune dropped calls/skype….and we have a feet in the sand picture too…the pictures are perfect visual symbol of two individuals connecting and intimate, together yet self. Love you, J

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